Kids

Alarm clocks, a cold, and a nursing child… 

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My alarm on my Fitbit is set for 7:30 am. Rare is the day that it actually wakes me up because I’m usually awake well before that.

Today, it did wake me up! I do have a cold after all, and my 11 month old, yes, she’s 11 months today, where has the time gone??? She’s been taking a few more steps the last couple days too! Back to my 11 month old… She’s still waking up to nurse two to three times a night. She refuses a pacifier if I try to give it to her, but will gladly take it from our nanny during nap times… ? I refuse to let my kids cry it out, that may be your thing and glad it worked for you, but this mama can’t/won’t it. Don’t get me wrong, we actually tried it for a couple days with Victoria, we were tired, really I was exhausted, Ryan just gets tired since he is the son of the energizer bunny (his mom) after all. But in the end I couldn’t let her cry at such a young age. She fake cries now to try to get her way, I tell her she can cry, she just has to go to her room to do it.

We still let our kids sleep in our bed if they want to. Ryan does transport them to their room after they fall asleep, but if they come back again, they usually just stay until morning. Another topic that many parents refuse to even consider, but it works for our family. We have super affectionate kids, and they probably won’t want mommy and daddy to walk them to class every day when they get older, but we’ll take what we can get as long as we can get it.

And yes, Bobby is almost 3 and still loves his pacifier. We let him sleep with it, but during the day we do make him put it away even though he isn’t happy about it. Victoria gave hers up at 2.5, and didn’t start speaking clearly until after that because she would try to talk with it in her mouth. Bobby is a little hard to understand with his pacifier in his mouth, but that little boy has been speaking in full clear sentences since he was 1.5. I’ll keep asking if he’s done with his pacifier and one day his answer will be yes and we’ll pack one away in his keepsake box like we did for Victoria.

Anyway, even with a cold, a nursing baby, and kids in my bed, I have such great sleep that when my alarm goes off before I’m awake, it’s easy to wake up, turn it off without snoozing and start my day feeling refreshed and ready to go!

Baby’s first accident with blood… 

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It happened with our oldest, Victoria. She was a few months old and had on a zip up sweatshirt and I was trying to get her undressed after we got home. The zipper was a little stuck. I don’t know if it was caught on a piece of her shirt underneath, but I finally got the zipper tugged down, but not without getting some skin when the zipper came down. She had a line of blood on her chest and she was bawling.

Then… I was bawling. Like most of the night too… I would wake up and cry some more. I felt like such a failure as a mom. I’m the one that carried this baby for 8 months (she was born 4 weeks premature due to HELLP Syndrome) and I was supposed to take care of her and make her feel better when she was sad. And instead, I made her cry… and bleed! It took my hubby reminding me every time he saw me crying that it was an accident, I didn’t do it on purpose and that I was still a good mommy. And he prayed for me… and I finally got over it.

Did I forget? No way! I think she had bled before from getting shots, getting a little more than just a nail clipped during finger nail clipping times (this is why I do not clip my kids’ nails… I get too nervous about those fast fingers), but it wasn’t on my watch.

Bobby came along and his first bloody incident was when he fell forward and hit his eyebrow on a wooden toy with rounded edges. He just happened to face plant into it just the right way to cause a split right above his eyebrow. Our nanny brought him to me and he had blood streaming down his face. Surprisingly I didn’t cry. I sprang into action. Patted his head with a wet washcloth. Saw the gap, took a picture. Called my hubby, called the doctor’s office, did a Facebook sale. We eventually we took him to the ER. He was fixed up by a plastic surgeon. I definitely stood back in the ER room. It was small, we had the double stroller, and I was trying to keep Victoria out of the way, so Ryan was next to him while he got medicated and stitched up. I felt really bad for my baby boy, but I don’t think I cried. Maybe I knew he was a tough boy and he could handle it. Not like the girls couldn’t, they are also very tough, it’s just that they are my baby girls and I, myself, am a sissy… literally. My nickname is Sisi.

Well… last week, that’s when I started writing this post, it just takes a bit longer to complete things now that we have kids… and three of them… Alexandria had her first bloody accident. We now know that the hinge on the new refrigerator is only slightly higher than the freezer drawer and there is not nearly as much space as there appears to be (objects in mirror…). She is now standing everywhere and always wants to be where the action is. I was back in the bedroom and I heard her crying in the kitchen, not just mad crying because someone took her toy, but hurt crying. She managed to put her hand just in the right spot so when the refrigerator door closed it took a layer… Or two… Of skin with it. I cried all over again. Ryan had to comfort me again. I wasn’t even involved this time, but still, my baby girl was in pain. I thought it was super deep, but it wasn’t. I put her on the boob and she was done crying. I love how comforted she is by nursing. We cleaned her cut, put on a Band-Aid, and then a sock on top because she had it in her mouth the instant after we put the bandage on. The sock came off overnight. I couldn’t find the Band-aid, so I thought maybe she swallowed it, but she was still breathing, so I kept sleeping. I did wake up several times that night, but not to cry, just to keep feeding her when she would wake me up.

She’s healing up really quickly. I’m very impressed with how tough she is. She just keeps on going.

This is our last baby that I will carry in my body, unless the Lord has other plans, but it makes me appreciate all these baby moments. Even the ones that make me cry. I think it also strengthens me because I know what she’s already been through and how strong she really is.

Our NICU Baby

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If you have kids, and they’ve spent any time in the NICU you know that it is difficult to see your baby in there where you can’t help them, and have to trust that the hospital staff is taking the best care of them as they can.

Victoria went straight to the NICU after she was delivered at 36 weeks via emergency c-section due to HELLP Syndrome. After 12 hours, I was able to get into a wheelchair to be rolled down the hall to the NICU to meet my baby girl. I was in major pain just getting out of bed. They said I’d have to stand and wash my hands for 2 minutes before I could hold her, so I decided I’d be ok just looking at her because I wasn’t about to try to move any more than I had to. They rolled me in and I used sanitizer, even to be in there. They rolled me to her incubator and she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I just looked at her in awe of this little baby that was both me and my hubby rolled into one. She had the cutest little beanie on too! I started to get really warm… and I started gagging. The magensium sulfate is not a medication that makes you feel great, it actually makes you feel quite the opposite, but it’s goal is to help keep you alive. So gagging right after a c-section is the opposite of fun. I started panicking and did not want to throw up in the NICU so I had the nurse roll me out.

I went back to my room and waited until the next morning to go back to see her. I woke up bright and early and was ready to get up to wash my hands and hold my baby. We went as soon as they would let us in after the nurse shift change and I got to hold my baby girl for the first time. My hubby wouldn’t let anyone hold her except the nurses. He wanted to make sure that I was the first to hold our baby girl, and I am so thankful that he thought of that. I know other moms who didn’t get to be the first in their family to hold their babies and it is a big deal. We took pictures, I handed her off to Daddy and we took more pictures. I got to try to nurse her, which she didn’t really take to. I would pump in my room every 3 hours after I tried nursing, Ryan would take the milk down to the NICU, then come back and wash the flanges and bottles while I tried to nap and recover. He would feed her formula after I would nurse so that she would know that breast milk comes from mommy and formula comes from Daddy so as to not confuse her so early.

We did this schedule over the next 4 days. They released me on day 4, but weren’t going to release her until day 5. So… we did what any sensible first time parents would do and got a hotel room close by so we wouldn’t have to go home without our baby. We still got up every 3 hours and drove to the hospital to do our feeds. The next day we took a trip to Target to get everything we still needed, then went back to see if they were going to let her come home. They liked to wait until the babies were 5 pounds, but she had passed her car seat test and was doing great. So… we got to bring our 4 lb 11 oz baby girl home with us!

Daddy, who used to be a crazy driver, suddenly turned into a super cautious driver overnight. He had already started being a better driving with having a pregnant mama in the car, but now that he had this little baby girl to take care of, he was all about safety!

What the HELLP?

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I’m guessing you may never have heard of HELLP Syndrome. We hadn’t either until I was diagnosed with it while 36 weeks pregnant with our first little superhero.  I’ll give you the good news first, we both survived and are here today to share with others about this life threatening condition so that hopefully you and your loved ones will know ahead of time and be proactive if you notice any of the side effects.

We got married in May 2012, and were ready to have kids right away since we got a late start to this whole marriage thing. Ryan’s mom had been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer just 7 weeks prior to our wedding day. One of her life goals was to be a grandma, and with Ryan being her only child, we were on a mission. We got pregnant in July and she was over the moon to find out she would get her grandbaby.

I was nauseous a lot! And my blood pressure started rising at 32 weeks. My OB had me coming in more often and scheduled more ultrasounds just to make sure everything was going well. I was doing non stress tests (NST) too and of course Victoria decided that would be a great time to nap. So it was stressing me out when they would say she wasn’t moving as much as they would like her to. They kept monitoring me for pre-eclampsia but I didn’t have protein in my urine, so all looked well. My OB would ask if I had upper right quadrant (URQ) pain and I did not, so I would always answer no. I wish she would have warned me what it could mean… because when I did have the pain, I just thought it was gas.

We had our baby shower on a Saturday and halfway through opening gifts I had some sharp pain under my ribs. I thought she positioned herself so her little butt was just stuck under my ribs. If I pushed on it, the pain would go away so I just held my hand on that spot and let my hubby open the rest of the gifts. The pain went away later, so I didn’t think anything of it.

We had our 2nd of 4 classes at the hospital the Wednesday after our baby shower and stopped at Babies R Us on the way home to pick up our car seat and stroller combo.  I had that pain again, and was sure it was gas. I tried taking a bath,  sitting in the recliner, I could not sleep, so my hubby watched The Vow with me since he had gotten it for me for Valentine’s Day. I put up with all the superhero movies, he puts up with chick flicks. We are a good combo. I watched the movie and still didn’t get any relief. I was feeling a little nauseous too so I ate a little bag of salty chips…. which I ended up throwing up later. I tried to sleep through the pain, but I couldn’t. I ended up leaning over an ottoman in our bedroom trying to see if it was gas if I could get it to come out (TMI much?)… It didn’t.

Then it hit me! Was this the pain my OB had been asking about? What did it mean if it was? It was about 3 am, and I knew my doctor would not be answering since the calls went to a call center, so we called the hospital. They told us to come on in for testing. I didn’t have a bag packed since my OB planned to talk to  me on Friday about scheduling an induction at 37 weeks. So, I threw a few things together for myself just in case I would have to stay. We already knew there was a chance that during a non-stress test they could decide to keep me in the hospital for monitoring, so I wanted to be prepared.

We went into the ER to get up to the L&D floor and they took me into a room in the laboring wing. We could hear ladies in pain… they ran labs and gave me some gas x to try to help with my “gas”. Ryan was so tired, he laid on the ground to try to get some sleep since he had to work in the morning. It was also supposed to be my last day in the office. My company let me work from home 3 days a week and only drive in 2 days a week and we had just had my baby shower on Tuesday and Thursday would be my last day in the office then I’d work the last 4 weeks from home full time since I was considered high risk and my OB didn’t want me driving in after 36 weeks since it was a 35 minute commute. I emailed my boss to tell her I was having labs run, so I would probably be in late… they were just about to release me when the doctor came in to say they got my labs back and I had HELLP Syndrome. The only cure would be to deliver so I would be having a baby that day.

I emailed my boss again to let her know I wouldn’t be coming in after all and that my maternity leave would start now. We also called both of our moms since they had a commute to get to the hospital. My mom would be driving to Ventura from Visalia and his mom would be driving from Carlsbad. They started inducing hoping to get labor progressing, they also put me on a magnesium sulfate drip which… is not pleasant, but it would hopefully keep me from having a stroke or seizures. It made me hot… and they would check me every few hours. I didn’t dilate… even after 3 inductions I didn’t dilate. They did warn me that if my platelets got too low, they would need to do an emergency c-section.

The moms stayed at the hospital with us all day they went back to our condo in Camarillo to take care of our “baby”, he’s our fur baby, Rinzler that we rescued right after we got back from our honeymoon. At 1:30 am they said my platelets had gotten too low so they needed to do an emergency c-section. If they could get me a bag of platelets I could stay awake and my hubby could join me in the OR. If they couldn’t, I’d have to be put under. We got the bag of platelets! We called the moms and they headed to the hospital to wait.

The c-section was scheduled for 3:00 am and I was hungry…. I hadn’t eaten in almost 24 hours. While they were cutting me open, I was tired and hungry and loopy with the mag. I asked my hubby, “When I can eat again, can I have some In N Out?” I LOVED In N Out, and it didn’t help that the OB and the nurses started talking about In N Out after I said that.

Victoria Faith was born at 3:15 am on 3/15/2013, a month ahead of her 4/11 due date (but we thought she might wait until her daddy’s birthdate a few days later). I held my breath until I heard her crying then I started crying. They took her immediately to the NICU because she was having a little trouble breathing on her own, so I only got to see her from across the room. I told Ryan to go with her… and I took a little nap while they sewed me back up. They took me to a cold recovery room that looked pretty uninviting with concrete walls and just curtains between beds. My hubby was already calling to see if the could come and see me but they made him wait 30 more minutes. I was shaking… but my mom had warned me that that might happen. They said I had to stay there until I could move my legs on my own. My hubby finally got to come in and brought me the camera to show me pictures of our baby girl. Since I had a spinal and had low platelets I would have to remain flat on my back for 12 hours so I wouldn’t bleed out of the spot the spinal went in. I had to wait for the mag to get out of my system as well so relaxing wasn’t a bad thing, but I was anxious to go meet my baby girl.

They did run labs to keep checking my liver enzyme and platelet levels and by the end of that night everything was back to normal. Not everyone with HELLP gets better as soon as they deliver, some women have it a lot worse than I had it. We are blessed that we were both fine. Victoria spent 5 days in the NICU then got to come home with us, I’ll write about that in a separate post.

Here is a great site if you want to read more about HELLP Syndrome

http://www.whatthehellp.com/